dissociativeidentitydisorder
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Understanding the Cravings of a Complex Mind
I keep thinking about something my therapist pointed out: my brain craves challenge. Without chaos, while it is peaceful, there’s not a sense of movement or problems I can focus on and rely on the System to work with through the issues. I have at least 10 drafts stowed away,…
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The Fourth Stream: Tell All or Tell None
I can’t wait for March. I have an evaluation set up to confirm if we’re Autistic and ADHD (finally), amongst the cPTSD and DID. My twin relates more with our mother about OCD. Our mom thinks our younger brother is also OCD. And our older brother? Untreated alcoholism, depression, and…
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Small Note
It feels like time has sped up, stopped, warped, and slowed to an unbearable pace. All because we dread the 31st arriving. Since our last post nothing has changed: we’re still avidly distracting when we can, still internally spiraling while riding the waves of grief. It’s suffocating. It feels like…
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Bittersweet Goodbye
I wanted to write a post on layering. I wanted to answer the last two weeks worth of daily prompts. I wanted to feel like life was still in flow. Last Tuesday the therapist we’ve worked with for the past five almost six years informed us they were moving, transitioning…
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The Third Stream: Alive, but Unwell
It’s been two weeks of constant Hell. We spent last week in and out of crying spells since that Tuesday, and then recently caught a cold. Even as the cold symptoms begin to lessen and I stop quietly distracting our mind, the noise creeps back in. There’s some feeling dissatisfied…
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Understanding Trauma: A Survivor’s Narrative
TW: sexual assault It dawned on us this morning yesterday was a trauma anniversary. No wonder we couldn’t stop crying in therapy. That day over a decade ago… It almost destroyed us completely. I only remember bits and pieces. Everything from my perspective is muted. I remember we walked up…
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The Second Stream: Epiphanies
The course of the last week as been a consistent roller coaster. Par for the course of Winter for us I suppose. After all, some the worse traumas occurred during Winter. The past few days have been tumultuous to say the least. Most of the week we felt fine, a…
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