DID
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A Year In
A year ago now one of us thought about starting a blog. Mostly to compile all the information we know on life this way. There wasn’t a single space for information on polyfragmentation. And now? Now it’s devolved into a living space for the chaos. Even the best laid plans…
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Tommy Pt. 2
The following days after that session we kept Tommy internally at a distance. Truthfully I was still hurt by the nightmare, and recovering from the memory we had disclosed. I didn’t blame Tommy though. It took me some time to recognize I was angry at the adults in life who…
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Tommy Pt. 1
Content Warning: Readers may find the subject material distressing. Though no explicit details relating to SA are within, please take caution nonetheless. This was not easy to write. Being this vulnerable is a huge risk for us. It was a pivotal moment for us in our healing. Acknowledging what we…
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Enough is Enough
The first session with the new therapist went well, even if we did fall apart some at the mention of our former therapist. We’re hopeful, despite the overwhelming fear and unease within…well, everything. I knew we would be overwhelmed; it’s a first for us to grieve the loss of a…
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Rapid Fire Answers
This is going to be a short one, and probably rushed. Mostly due to sleep deprivation. Has my sleep gotten better? No. Did I manage to talk to my partner about our relationship? Yes, they took it well and frankly I have to remind myself the brain tends to get…
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Coping with Sleep Deprivation and Relationship Issues
We were running today off about six hours of sleep. After what feels like a month,of really poor quality sleep, I can definitely feel the toll it’s taking on us mentally. By the third time one of my cats woke me up in the middle of the night, I was…
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Writing Memoirs: Finding Your Voice Amid Trauma
This Thursday we have our first session with the new therapist. We’re nervous, and we know it will be okay. The past few days have been such a blur I don’t remember making our previous post. I mean, it’s there alright, and there’s a touch of “me” to it, but…
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Understanding the Cravings of a Complex Mind
I keep thinking about something my therapist pointed out: my brain craves challenge. Without chaos, while it is peaceful, there’s not a sense of movement or problems I can focus on and rely on the System to work with through the issues. I have at least 10 drafts stowed away,…
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Rant if Need Be, it Beats Not Speaking Any
The drafts are piling up. My house is a wreck. I’m drowning in the daily demands of life. I don’t know if this is more DID related or what: How the hell do people just feel things without being overwhelmed by it all? Or at least so mentally crowded at…
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The Fifth Stream: Understanding Memory Through Ages and Events
For years trying to put our story into some sense of order has been so challenging. When we hear others say, “oh back in X year,” so casually we have to do the math. How old were we in that year? Where did we live then? Which school? Who was out…
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