Personal Experience
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Coping with Sleep Deprivation and Relationship Issues
We were running today off about six hours of sleep. After what feels like a month,of really poor quality sleep, I can definitely feel the toll it’s taking on us mentally. By the third time one of my cats woke me up in the middle of the night, I was…
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Writing Memoirs: Finding Your Voice Amid Trauma
This Thursday we have our first session with the new therapist. We’re nervous, and we know it will be okay. The past few days have been such a blur I don’t remember making our previous post. I mean, it’s there alright, and there’s a touch of “me” to it, but…
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Navigating Therapy Transitions: Emotions and Growth
We got the strange want to reread (or in this case, listen to) Robert Oxnam’s A Fractured Mind: My Life With Multiple Personality Disorder. I had vague flashes of reading this in High School, and then again in college years ago; and now I have my own copy at home.…
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Understanding the Cravings of a Complex Mind
I keep thinking about something my therapist pointed out: my brain craves challenge. Without chaos, while it is peaceful, there’s not a sense of movement or problems I can focus on and rely on the System to work with through the issues. I have at least 10 drafts stowed away,…
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Rant if Need Be, it Beats Not Speaking Any
The drafts are piling up. My house is a wreck. I’m drowning in the daily demands of life. I don’t know if this is more DID related or what: How the hell do people just feel things without being overwhelmed by it all? Or at least so mentally crowded at…
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The Fifth Stream: Understanding Memory Through Ages and Events
For years trying to put our story into some sense of order has been so challenging. When we hear others say, “oh back in X year,” so casually we have to do the math. How old were we in that year? Where did we live then? Which school? Who was out…
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The Fourth Stream: Tell All or Tell None
I can’t wait for March. I have an evaluation set up to confirm if we’re Autistic and ADHD (finally), amongst the cPTSD and DID. My twin relates more with our mother about OCD. Our mom thinks our younger brother is also OCD. And our older brother? Untreated alcoholism, depression, and…
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Small Note
It feels like time has sped up, stopped, warped, and slowed to an unbearable pace. All because we dread the 31st arriving. Since our last post nothing has changed: we’re still avidly distracting when we can, still internally spiraling while riding the waves of grief. It’s suffocating. It feels like…
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Bittersweet Goodbye
I wanted to write a post on layering. I wanted to answer the last two weeks worth of daily prompts. I wanted to feel like life was still in flow. Last Tuesday the therapist we’ve worked with for the past five almost six years informed us they were moving, transitioning…
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The Third Stream: Alive, but Unwell
It’s been two weeks of constant Hell. We spent last week in and out of crying spells since that Tuesday, and then recently caught a cold. Even as the cold symptoms begin to lessen and I stop quietly distracting our mind, the noise creeps back in. There’s some feeling dissatisfied…
SheepieDex 