When are you most happy?

“What makes you happy? What brings you joy?”

Happiness has been fleeting for us. It’s a breif state above being content. Maybe the years of untreated depression have jaded us to be content with being simply Okay. Or maybe it’s a fact of life we’ve accepted years ago: happiness will come and go, enjoy it when it stays. Like all emotions it is temporary.

The times we are most happy, elated really? Probably when the System isn’t in disarray, and we’re able to communicate more freely. There’s a sort of flow within that doesn’t feel…rough, ragged, like being slammed into walls. Or hit by a two-by-four. Could very well be our mentality is clouded by grief and a sense of numbness these days. Even writing is difficult.

There’s an overwhelming need to self-censor. A prolonged issue we’ve dealt with for years. Still, we’re trying. The only time we seem to be “happy” is with effort to avoid thinking about depper issues. We can’t keep running though. Running doesn’t solve anything.

-Ashe